


Discretion and Fireworks

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Dereks a dumbass, F/M, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, Pre-Slash, SO MUCH FLUFF, Texting, kiss, not even sorry, surprise birthday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 08:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott: Derek's gonna kill us</p><p>Stiles: U gonna do it or not?</p><p> </p><p>Scott: bite me.</p><p> </p><p>Stiles: who pressed your prissy wolf buttons this morning?</p><p>Scott: Shut up. Allison wants to kno if she can get balloons</p><p> </p><p>In which Derek gets a surprise from the pack and fluffiness just eats everything else away. Plot? What plot? okay, so there's a little plot and only because Derek is a dumbass and Stiles is oblivious</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discretion and Fireworks

Scott:  **I don't know man, sounds like a bad idea**

 **  
**Stiles: **Seriously dude? after all we've been through, you're gonna give me that now?**

 **  
**Scott: **Derek's gonna kill us**

 **  
**Stiles: **My man, he's only gonna kill one us if he finds out. it's okay. RELAX**

 **  
**Scott: **That's the worst argument I've ever heard**

 **  
**Stiles: **U gonna do it or not?**

 **  
**Scott: **bite me.**

 **  
**Stiles: **who pressed your prissy wolf buttons this morning?**

 **  
**Stiles shifted his phone between both of his hands and tapped his foot on the hardwood beneath his feet nervously. Scott was right, which in its self was a kind of _miracle_ , if Derek did find out about this... ha, yea well, at least he didn't get to die a virgin right?

Scott: **Shut up. Allison wants to kno if she can get balloons**

 **  
**Stiles: **Balloons? Does he need balloons?**

 **  
**Scott: **I don't kno. Does he get balloons?**

 **  
**Stiles texted Isaac.

Stiles:  **Isaac said yes to balloons, no to party poppers**

Scott:  **good. they hurt my ears**

Stiles: **seriously? what about fireworks?**

 **  
**Scott: **You want fireworks for Derek's birthday party?**

 **  
**Stiles: **What? I don't have that kind of money. Dude just get the balloons!!!**

 **  
**Scott: **You said you wanted**

Scott:  **balloons. Fireworks are a no then?**

Stiles:  **Remind me, when was fireworks even in the works?**

 **  
**Erica: **stiles why is scott txting me about fireworks?**

Erica: **we're not getting them. they hurt Boyd's ears.**

 **  
**Stiles: **blame Scott.**

Scott:  **HELPPPP erica's yelling at me! sorry stiles she doesn't want the fireworks** **  
**

Scott: **She wins.**

Scott:  **she scares me.**

 

Stiles: **It's okay.**

Stiles: **she scares everyone**

 

Erica: **You sent that to wrong person Stilinski**

 

Stiles scratched behind his head and cleared his throat. "Awkward."

Stiles to Scott: **just nod and smile at her. I bet its her time of the month**

 

Scott: **how would i smile at her? She's at Dereks?**

 

Erica: **Stilinski**

 

Stiles: **I swear to god i sent that one to the right person this time!**

 

Erica: **what did you say about me**

 

Stiles: **nothing**

 

Scott: **oh do i use the star thingi? like and put in what i do? *laugh***

 

Stiles to Scott: **Don't do that. ever.**

 

Erica: **Stilinski**

Erica: **Stiles!!**

Erica: **I'll be over in five minuets**

 

Stiles to Scott: **plan me a good funeral okay?**

 

Scott: **uh okay? You still want Linkon Park songs right? *Shrugs***

 

Stiles: **you know, normal people plan their weddings. Is it sad that ive planned my funeral?**

 

Scott: **we're not exactly normal tho, so.. no? *shrugs again***

 

Lydia: **Allison said that you're getting balloons. Make sure they're green. The color spread won't work if it's anything else.**

Stiles to Scott: **make sure the balloons are green. Lydia might disembowel you if not. her passive aggressive message, not mine.**

Stiles to Scott: **And stop using the star thingi!**

Scott: **Allsion already bought white balloons.**

 

Stiles: **Shit.**

Stiles: **Duck and cover.**

Stiles: **the lydia bomb's about to go off**

 

Lydia: **Wrong person Stiles.**

 

Stiles: **fucking touchscreen**

Sties: **sorry lydia**

 

Lydia: **my name is capitalized**

 

Stiles: **Sorry Lydia.**

 

Lydia: **Much better.**  

Lydia: **Tell Alison that the white balloons will work.**  

Lydia: **Also, to not buy anything else without going through me first.**

 

Stiles to Scott: **lydia says not to buy with out her permission**

Scott: **Im getting the fireworks**

 

"Stiles!" Erica opened his window without warning and landed painfully graceful in his room feet first. Her blonde hair was up in a pony tail, her jeans looked artfully ripped and her cleavage was not a stranger to sunlight in the white low v-neck. "Done staring?" she smirked coming to sit on the edge of his bed.

Stiles gave her a look. "Maybe I was checking that the creatures that go bump in the night weren't going to come braking in my front-"

"The party's at seven. Jackson has Derek occupied and Boyd is getting the cake right now," Erica interrupted. Her knees were bouncing and a self satisfied smirk was spread across her lips. 

"Feeling smug are we?" Stiles smiled.

Erica rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't understand. Getting a one up on your Alpha is ..." she smiled a little too dangerous for Stiles like. "Well it's entertaining."

"You're going to blame the whole 'Derek's Surprise Birthday Party' plan on Scott aren't you?"

Erica raised her eyebrows like she was confused.  _HA_. "What do you mean?"

Stiles didn't even have to roll his eyes, he just shook his head. "You my friend, need to learn the subtle art of discretion."

" _I_ need to learn it?"

Stiles pulled back the instinct to stick his tongue out at her. He didn't feel the urge to lose a body part today thanks. "So maybe we both do. Whatever. Bite me."

She grinned. "So does Derek actually, we all could use a good lesson."

Stiles frowned. "Derek doesn't need a lesson of discretion. Maybe some anger management lessons. Lots and lots of those kinds of lessons. Because seriously,  _god damn_ , if I get thrown against one more wall, that man is going to pay my medical bills for the rest of his were-wolfian life. As in  _forever,_ but I wouldn't say discretion. He boarders on discretion all the time, even in his walk. Have you seen his walk? It's like creeper status. Just jumps out of the shadows like Severus Snape. Scariest thing since instant Mac 'n Cheese let -"

"He's not as discreet as you think. Especially when he's trying to discreetly woo."

Stiles almost had to smile. "Discreet is kind of a funny word. Can you imagine it? Discreet. Discretion. Being discretionous-"

"That's not even a word."

"New words are made every day."

Erica looked up to the ceiling and leaned back into his bed like she was giving up. "You Stiles, are a special one."

"A special kind of awesome!"

"More like a special kind of stupid," Jackson said, coming through his window and landing in front of Erica.

"Jackson, what are you doing here, I thought-" Stiles started to say.

Erica jumped up from where she was spread out on and glared at Jackson like he was directly responsible for Pluto being denounced as a planet. "Jackson," she growled. "Where's Derek?"

Jackson didn't look that impressed. "Derek called bullshit half way through and came back without me."

"He  _left_?" Erica snapped at him.

"He took off! What was I supposed to do?" Jackson yelled.

"You could have stopped him! Called us? Warned us!" Erica growled.

"This _is_ me warning you. Derek made me leave our phones behind at the house okay? After he left I went straight here."

"Lydia is going to kill you," Stiles shook his head.

"What?" Jackson snapped his head towards Stiles. "What are you-"

"When she finds out that your bad acting skills led to Derek  _running away_ from you and interrupting her birthday planning skillage... ha, well, good luck buddy," Stiles smiled. 

Jackson growled and took a step forwards to Stiles looking like he was about to make him look like a second hand chew toy. Erica stood up from the bed and growled at Jackson deep in her throat. The noise echoed off his bedroom walls and Stiles had to admit that if Jackson sounded scary when he growled, Erica sounded... well pretty shit-dropping scary. 

Stiles phone vibrated. It was Lydia. And she was calling him. 

Oh _joy._  

He answered the phone and pressed it to his ear, pointedly ignoring the stare-off between Erica and Jackson. 

"Lydia?" Stiles asked. "Hey, whats up? Hows the-"

"Derek's home." The pretty feminine voice that could only belong to Lydia didn't sound mad. It sounded fucking  _livid_. 

"Derek's- he's a- oh hey, look, Jackson want's to talk to you, here you go-" Stiles tossed the phone to Jackson who had stopped snarling at Erica. Jackson shook his head furiously as the phone flew towards him. Erica grinned from beside him and Jackson looked a little sick as he caught the phone and pressed it to his ear. 

"Lydia babe? Hey, hi, I was-" Lydia's voice cut him off from the other side, and once again Stiles was seriously jealous over super-were-wolf hearing that Erica had. She was probably listening to every fabulous insult that Lydia was throwing at Jackson at this very moment. The asshole. 

"N-No, I just- I- I left- no, no your- yea babe- I tri- okay. No, okay. You're right. I said you're right. Yea- okay- n- yes alright. okay bye." Jackson hung up the phone and dropped it quickly on Stiles bed like it was still screaming at him with the voice of his girlfriend. 

"What did she say?" Stiles asked innocently. Hey, it was a completely legit question. He, unlike his friends, didn't have special hearing or super strength. Or big abs. And five o'clock shadows. And- shit Stilinski stay on track. 

Jackson gave him a downgraded glare of his usual sass, but Stiles thought being chewed out by a goddess like Lydia might even effect  _his_ sarcasm if it had been him. So he was going to let it slide. "She says that we need to get over to the house."

"Now?"

"No Stilinski when the next season of Game of Thrones comes out. Yes now," Erica rolled her eyes.

"You watch Game of Thrones?"

She smiled. "Only for Robb and John Snow. And Tyrion."

"Well duh Tyrion. Who doesn't like Tyrion? You know, other than his sister and dad, Jeoffrey and yea... but you get my meaning," Stiles smiled. 

"Shut up Stilinski and get moving. Lydia wants us there by yesterday," Jackson snapped.

Stiles lifted his hands in surrender, if only for the moment. "Let me get my shoes and then we can go confront the big bad wolf."

"Stiles," Erica said as Stiles had turned to look for his shoes. 

"Huh? What?" Stiles said turning around to the busty blonde.

"Change your shirt. And jeans. No plaid."

"What? No plaid? Thats like saying no sunlight and-"

"Shut  _up_ Stilinski and just do what she damn well wants," Jackson growled. Literally growled. Werewolves and their tempers man. 

"Alright. Alright, fine... no plaid. Okay then." He could do this. His whole closet wasn't  _just_ plaid you know. He had other things. Like t-shirts. Lota t-shirt. No muscle shirts like the ones Derek wore. Wife beaters with big muscles. And black jeans. And sunglasses covering those hazel-green- 

"Stilinski!" Jackson yelled, effectively taking his mind off of... other things. 

"Yep, on it. Right on it. Like Donkey Kong on it. Totally right there. Let me just see, if I can..." he walked into his closet and took a look around. He picked a shirt at random and held it outsid the closet for Erica to see. "This good?" he sked.

"No. Put the studmuffin shirt away." Well, hey there, Stiles actually  _liked_ this shirt. 

"Okay then," he put that one back and grabbed another at random. "How bout this one?" 

"No. I said no plaid!" Plaid? This was- oh, hey, looky there, it  _was_ plaid. Huh.  _  
_

"Uh..." Stiles said shrugging his shouldres at the closet. Damn werewolves. Stupid fashion. If it were up to him, people could go naked for all he cared. Okay, he took that back, not _naked_. There were a couple of people he could go without seeing naked. Like his dad. Or Scotts mom, or for gods sake, Allison's dad. Ewwwwww.

Then again, some people would be good walkin naked. Not he, himself, but like older guys. Guys that actually could walk around without clothes and manage to make it look good. People like-

"Stiles!" Erica barked from behind him. 

Stiles did  _not_ jump a foot in hte air. He. Did. Not. He did however, throw a hand to his chest. "Good God Erica, warn a guy next time. You and your creeper moves could give someone cardic arrest!"

Erica leaned against the door frame of his closet with a scrunched up nose and narrowed eyes. "What were you thinking about just now Stiles?"

"What was I- What? Nothing! Nothing of any major importance once so ever. Just thinking about nothing over here." His heart was going off about a mile a minuet, and he knew Erica knew he was lying. 

"Right," she said raising an eyebrow. "Move, I'm going in."

Stiles backed up and Erica walked into his closet, flipping through a couple of hangers. "Here," she said pulling out a dark blue shirt and black jeans. "Put these on before we leave."

Stiles eyed the clothes. HAHA-yeaano. Stiles knew those clothes. The jeans were tight. The shirt was tight. There was no way he was putting those on. "You know, I think Jackson want's us to leave."

Erica smiled. "He already left." Stiles turned out of the closet to his room, and sure as hell, Jackson was no where to be seen. The window was open though. "Come on, either you can put them on, or i can  _force_ them on you. Your choice." Her smile looked a little demented now.

Stiles sighed and reached for the clothes. "Gimme."

Erica smiled again.

She gave him the clothes and walked out of the closet, leaving him alone ot get dressed. Stiles stripped and tugged on the jeans first. They were tight against his butt and he grumbled about getting a stomach ache from the lack of air he was going to get. He pulled the shirt on next, wiggling his shoulders to try and make it more comfortable for himself and walked out of the closet. 

Erica looked him up and down. "Derek's gonna love it."

Stiles blinked. "He- what? What are you- I didn't even- I just-"

Erica smiled and winked. "Came out of the closet in more way than today didn't you?"

Stiles nearly choked. "I-" he shook his head. "Let's just... god I'm outa here."

He grabbed his phone, turned his back on the werewolf, and walked downstairs to pick up his keys. On his way out the front door, his phone buzzed. Stiles opened up a text. 

Scott:  **Why is Lydia mad?**

Stiles started to text back, when another came in.

Scott:  **Scratch that. What the hell did Jackson DO?**

Stiles rolled his eyes and tucked the phone back into his pocket. Better just to get this over with. Erica walked up behind him on his way to the jeep. "Text Boyd to bring the cake no matter what. If we don't get a party, I want some cake at least."

 


End file.
